Bit - What you have left in your pocket after you've been
to your favorite tack shop.
Spavin - The feeling of panic when riding through a muddy
area. Also used to refer to horses who throw a fit at having to go
through water puddles.
- Colic - Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse fair food stands.
foot - The involuntary/ instant reflex of curling one's
toes up - right before a horse steps on your foot.
House - What you are in when you spend too much money on
grooming supplies and pretty halters.
Term used to describe the condition an owner is in after he
administers electrolytes to his horse.
Rider - Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with
to Catch - In a 10x10 stall.
to Load - Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50 lb. bag of oats,
and a tractor with loader.
ride - The end result when your horse spooks and runs away
with you in the bush.
The ability to keep a smile on your face and proper posture while
your horse tries to pigroot, shy and buck his way around the ring.
Expensive substance utilized in the manufacture of large quantities
Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to
chew on, scratch against, jump over, and generally destroy. .
The excuse of choice a horse uses so he can kick you, buck you off
or knock you over and not be punished.
The discovery of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually
in a flower bed or hayfield. Used like-"Hey, honey, I
found'er." You could also say that founder is a condition that
happens to most people after Christmas dinner.
The customary gait a horse chooses when returning home.
Wooden or metal structures built to amuse horses.
The fine art of brushing the dirt from one's horse and applying it
to your own body.
- Hay - A green itchy material that collects between layers of clothing, especially in unmentionable places.
The act of unloading a truck full of hay.
What you get when you receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3
dogs, 4 cats, and 1 donkey.
Describes the walking gait of a horse owner after his/her foot has
been stepped on by his/her horse.
Financial condition of all horse owners.
Pick - Useful, curbed metal tool utilized to remove
hardened dog doo from the treads of your shoes.
- Horse Auction - What you think of having after your horse bucks you.
The characteristic movement that an equine makes when given a
vaccine or has his hooves trimmed.
- Lameness - The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition in old or weak riders.
Cribber - We can't afford to build anymore fencing or box
stalls for this buzz saw on four legs.
A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of
making the owner spin in circles-rendering the owner dizzy and
light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so the horse can go
back to eating.
spreader - Horse dealers.
Radar equipped blood sucking insects that typically reach the size
of small birds.
- Nicely Started - Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him.
A colorful (usually green) coat pattern found on a freshly washed
and sparkling clean gray horse that was left unattended in his
paddock for ten minutes.
The true size of the stallion that you bred your mare to via AI -
that was advertised as 15 hands tall.
- Proud Flesh - The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed at rides.
- Race - What your heart does when you see the vet bill.
- Rasp - An abrasive, long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin from the knuckles.
- Reins - Break-away device used to tie horses with.
- Sacking out - A condition caused by Sleeping Sickness (see below). The state of deep sleep a mare owner will be in at the time a mare actually goes into labor and foals.
- Saddle - An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.
- Saddle Sore - The way the rider's bottom feels the morning after the weekend at a ride.
- Sleeping Sickness - A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal. Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state. Can last several weeks.
- Splint - An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger.
- Stall - What your truck does on the way to a ride, fifty kilometers from the closest town.
- Tack Room - A room where every item necessary to work with or train your horse has been put, in a place which it cannot be found in less than 30 minutes.
- Three Gaited Horse - A horse that. 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) falls.
- Twisted Gut - The feeling deep inside that most riders get before a ride starts.
- Vet Catalog - An illustrated brochure provided to horse owners that features a wide array of products that are currently out of stock or have been dropped from a company's inventory.
- Well Mannered - Hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.
- Withers - The reason you'll seldom see a man riding bareback.
- Yearling - The age at which all horses completely forget the things you taught them previously.
stock - A general term used for all equines old enough to bite, kick
or run you over, but not yet old enough to dump you on the ground.